I went for a 4 mile walk about 5:30 this morning. It wasn't raining when I left. About halfway through, it started. And although I was sort of prepared for the rain, I still got soaked on my way home. As I as walking up the driveway, I was thinking that I couldn't wait to get out of these clothes and take a shower.
In a few minutes it hit me. Why does everyone in the world do that? You get soaked and complain about how wet to the bone you are, and the first thing you do......is get even wetter by taking a shower? It just doesn't make any sense, but we all do it. So it got me thinking about other things that people say that make really make no sense at all.
"I was soaked to the bone." - No one actually knows this to be fact. If you are capable of actually checking the texture of any of your bones, you need to stop reading this blog right now and seek help from a medical professional.
"It's a dry heat." - A real favorite of people who think they're Mr. or Miss Vegas. Or maybe more importantly, have never been to the desert but pretend they have. I say the oven's a dry heat too. Maybe dryer! Stick your head in there and tell me it's not hot.
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity." - A real favorite of people who have been to Florida for one week of their life. If the humidity was 0%.....100 degrees in the blazing sun is still hot.
"What's the wind chill?" - Strangely enough, we only start asking this question when the temperature is like 0 degrees. Does it really make any difference? It's 0 degrees!
"I don't mind flying, it's just the landings." - Hey!............no one likes the landings!.....but after take - off, your choices become limited.
" I Laughed so hard I almost peed my pants." - Has this actually happened to anyone -ever? I for one, have never seen it. And what does one have to do with the other? And if you did "almost" you're certainly NOT going to tell that to the masses!
"If I just would have straightened that one out." - Almost exclusive to golfers and baseball players. Look, you didn't hit it straight! You hacked it off to the left, or hit it into the stands 80 feet foul.
And finally,
"No one said it was going to be easy." - You only hear this when it's absolutely the last thing you want to hear. Yea, that makes me feel a lot better under the circumstances. Appreciate it.
And there are these gems:
"At the end of the day." -What day?
"Shooting fish in a barrel" - Ever know someone to do that?
These are just a few and all in fun. Don't fret if you've them, I have too.
Just remember....."It's a dry heat!"
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
MOVIE REVIEW - Law Abiding Citizen
This is generally not the month for really great movies to hit the theaters. Lot's of slasher flicks, and movies that may not have been good enough to compete with the summer blockbusters. These are also movies that lack the game to mix it up with the big holiday movies still to come. So October is usually no mans land. But the new Gerard Butler thriller, Law Abiding Citizen is great in any season.
LAC is the story of Clyde (Butler) and his family. After his young family is murdered, Clyde takes his time and plans his revenge on whoever his deems responsible for the crime itself, and the crime committed in our penal system. Clyde is just "an average guy"....a law abiding citizen. Or is he? That is the primary plot in LAC. Jamie Foxx is the Philadelphia DA, who was in charge of this murder case, and no is on Clyde's case as he wreaks havoc over the Pennsylvania city.
Up front, LAC is NOT for everyone. It is violent, and downright gruesome at times. There are a few scenes where no punches are pulled, and it may make some very queasy. Clyde is angry, and he's not interested in anything except dishing out the same pain his family endured. Also up front, this is a compelling, smart, very well done thriller. It is a story that you HAVE and HAVE NOT seen before at the same time. We've all been down the dads revenge road, but Clyde is a very complex character that gives LAC real depth.
LAC is riveting, face paced, and doesn't wear out it's welcome. It has a story to tell; tells it and doesn't get in it's own way. To it's credit, it stays on task, and doesn't shoot off on side-plots and love stories that would only have watered down a real juicy script. It stays steely, hard, gritty, and downright dark at times. And that's it's beauty. Butler is terrific as the bitter, and complex Clyde, and Foxx again turns in a wonderful performance as Rice the DA, who you can't decide to root for or against. Well done.
Law Abiding Citizen. Harsh yes, but extremely well done. Well worth it. Big time good.
LAC is the story of Clyde (Butler) and his family. After his young family is murdered, Clyde takes his time and plans his revenge on whoever his deems responsible for the crime itself, and the crime committed in our penal system. Clyde is just "an average guy"....a law abiding citizen. Or is he? That is the primary plot in LAC. Jamie Foxx is the Philadelphia DA, who was in charge of this murder case, and no is on Clyde's case as he wreaks havoc over the Pennsylvania city.
Up front, LAC is NOT for everyone. It is violent, and downright gruesome at times. There are a few scenes where no punches are pulled, and it may make some very queasy. Clyde is angry, and he's not interested in anything except dishing out the same pain his family endured. Also up front, this is a compelling, smart, very well done thriller. It is a story that you HAVE and HAVE NOT seen before at the same time. We've all been down the dads revenge road, but Clyde is a very complex character that gives LAC real depth.
LAC is riveting, face paced, and doesn't wear out it's welcome. It has a story to tell; tells it and doesn't get in it's own way. To it's credit, it stays on task, and doesn't shoot off on side-plots and love stories that would only have watered down a real juicy script. It stays steely, hard, gritty, and downright dark at times. And that's it's beauty. Butler is terrific as the bitter, and complex Clyde, and Foxx again turns in a wonderful performance as Rice the DA, who you can't decide to root for or against. Well done.
Law Abiding Citizen. Harsh yes, but extremely well done. Well worth it. Big time good.
Friday, October 9, 2009
MOVIE REVIEW - Couples Retreat
It's been a few months so it must be time for another Vince Vaughn comedy, this one is called Couples Retreat. It also boasts a real nice supporting cast of up and comers, and fun character actors, and you may be priming yourself up for a real fall off your seat, roll in the aisles laugh-fest.
Don't worry, you won't need a seat belt. You will smile and you will laugh at times, but overall I'm thinking this is going to leave some Vaughn fans a little cold. CR is not a wash-out by any means. It's just not hilarious as it is being billed in the hype.
It's the story of four suburban young couples who agree to go on this retreat in one of the most beautiful places on earth so they can work on their relationships. Now I'm paraphrasing, but that's the general story here. What will they learn about their marriages and themselves? Through the laughs, that's the attempted storyline. They of course meet a cast of idiots and weirdo's on the retreat that make it amusing at times, but overall it's cheap laughs.
CR makes the huge mistake that many comedies do. If you've seen the TV spot, or the trailer at the theater, you've seen the whole flick. Every big punchline has already been delivered, and you have nothing new to discover. This is a huge problem in this movie. More than most. You've seen this movie before you sit down.
Also, as you might expect, they do sink to the lowest common denominator a few times to pull laughs out of you, and some of it works. Trouble is there's just not enough originality to go along with it to off-set the predictable bathroom stuff.
We could use a good laugh these days, and you'll get some here with CR, but I'm not sure it requires you to go buy a ticket when renting this flick in 9o days would be just fine.
Couples Retreat. Average Vaughn....just average.
Don't worry, you won't need a seat belt. You will smile and you will laugh at times, but overall I'm thinking this is going to leave some Vaughn fans a little cold. CR is not a wash-out by any means. It's just not hilarious as it is being billed in the hype.
It's the story of four suburban young couples who agree to go on this retreat in one of the most beautiful places on earth so they can work on their relationships. Now I'm paraphrasing, but that's the general story here. What will they learn about their marriages and themselves? Through the laughs, that's the attempted storyline. They of course meet a cast of idiots and weirdo's on the retreat that make it amusing at times, but overall it's cheap laughs.
CR makes the huge mistake that many comedies do. If you've seen the TV spot, or the trailer at the theater, you've seen the whole flick. Every big punchline has already been delivered, and you have nothing new to discover. This is a huge problem in this movie. More than most. You've seen this movie before you sit down.
Also, as you might expect, they do sink to the lowest common denominator a few times to pull laughs out of you, and some of it works. Trouble is there's just not enough originality to go along with it to off-set the predictable bathroom stuff.
We could use a good laugh these days, and you'll get some here with CR, but I'm not sure it requires you to go buy a ticket when renting this flick in 9o days would be just fine.
Couples Retreat. Average Vaughn....just average.
MOVIE REVIEW - Whip It
You're going to hear a lot of bad reviews on this new Drew Barrymore directed movie, Whip It. And some of it justified. But just because there's a stack of pancakes on the counter, doesn't mean you have to pile more on. And I'm not going to.
Ellen Page is back as America's favorite troubled teen in this much-hyped roller derby flick. She plays, Bliss, who lives in deep rural Texas. Her mother is a beauty pageant mom, who is insistent that Bliss be a beauty queen, and it's the last thing Bliss wants to do. Bliss discovers this underground roller derby league in Austin that she wants to skate in. She lies to everyone in her life to get in, and eventually does. She becomes the roller derby "queen" and finally finds something that she loves to do.
Her parents have no idea their 17 year old daughter has this secret life, and that's one of the main plot lines. Will she get caught? And will Bliss find happiness, and at what cost? To be cliche, it is a coming of age movie but then again Ellen Page is the star. What else is it going to be?
I will be this first to admit, this movie is not perfect. There are a few very awkward scenes that I'm sure they wish they could get back. There is a silly "love story" attempt woven in, which is nothing but needless. And there's a few music choices that really stick out like a sore thumb, but it's not a movie killer. Problems yes. But from my chair it's still fun for the most part, and Ellen Page is still one of the best stars up and coming.
This movie has the independent studio look, and is a bit quirky like all Indy's are. Trouble here is, it's not "off beat" enough. It straddles the fence between being a mainstream flick and a odd ball Indy movie, and that's it's biggest trouble. Pages' Juno, was certainly a great example of a real off beat Indy flick that really worked. Whip It, falls short of Juno, but still holds it's own as a fun story that hasn't been told in a real long time.
Whip It. Be your own judge. I gave it a shot, and I'm glad. Not perfect for sure, but fun.
Ellen Page is back as America's favorite troubled teen in this much-hyped roller derby flick. She plays, Bliss, who lives in deep rural Texas. Her mother is a beauty pageant mom, who is insistent that Bliss be a beauty queen, and it's the last thing Bliss wants to do. Bliss discovers this underground roller derby league in Austin that she wants to skate in. She lies to everyone in her life to get in, and eventually does. She becomes the roller derby "queen" and finally finds something that she loves to do.
Her parents have no idea their 17 year old daughter has this secret life, and that's one of the main plot lines. Will she get caught? And will Bliss find happiness, and at what cost? To be cliche, it is a coming of age movie but then again Ellen Page is the star. What else is it going to be?
I will be this first to admit, this movie is not perfect. There are a few very awkward scenes that I'm sure they wish they could get back. There is a silly "love story" attempt woven in, which is nothing but needless. And there's a few music choices that really stick out like a sore thumb, but it's not a movie killer. Problems yes. But from my chair it's still fun for the most part, and Ellen Page is still one of the best stars up and coming.
This movie has the independent studio look, and is a bit quirky like all Indy's are. Trouble here is, it's not "off beat" enough. It straddles the fence between being a mainstream flick and a odd ball Indy movie, and that's it's biggest trouble. Pages' Juno, was certainly a great example of a real off beat Indy flick that really worked. Whip It, falls short of Juno, but still holds it's own as a fun story that hasn't been told in a real long time.
Whip It. Be your own judge. I gave it a shot, and I'm glad. Not perfect for sure, but fun.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
MOVIE REVIEW - Zombieland
To get? Or not to get?" That is the question. Zombieland IS that movie. Some people will walk in and laugh like the dickens, others won't.
Zombieland stars Woody Harrelson and others in a satirical look at the "Zombie" movies that Hollywood has been making for decades. I must admit, I finally learned what a "zombie" is! In Zombieland, it is a virus that is infecting the majority of Americans, and makes ordinary people turn into ravenous, cannibals that have to eat humans in order to survive! Who knew?
Our cast of characters here are not Zombies and want to stay that way. Two guys, two girls making their was across the country, trying to find a "zombieless" place, and fighting them off all the way. That's pretty much the premise here. This is not a deep plot, or War And Peace! This is Zombieland!
First and foremost, this is one violent movie. But hold on. There is about a million zombie kills in this flick, and they off them about in every way imaginable. But it's all done in a comic, satirical style that takes pretty much all the bite out of it. It's laughable to be honest, and that's the whole idea here. It's parody. It doesn't mean that it's not hard to watch sometimes, but it helps.
Zombieland will be a huge hit with the young crowd, and some will see this flick again and again. You might want to leave Nana at home here. This is a movie that a group of young friends can go to together and have a good laugh or two. I have to admit, the satire, parody, and shear absurdity did make me laugh a few times, and a couple rather hard. But it won't tickle everyone.
Zombieland. A bunch of ridiculous laughs...and we could use some.
Zombieland stars Woody Harrelson and others in a satirical look at the "Zombie" movies that Hollywood has been making for decades. I must admit, I finally learned what a "zombie" is! In Zombieland, it is a virus that is infecting the majority of Americans, and makes ordinary people turn into ravenous, cannibals that have to eat humans in order to survive! Who knew?
Our cast of characters here are not Zombies and want to stay that way. Two guys, two girls making their was across the country, trying to find a "zombieless" place, and fighting them off all the way. That's pretty much the premise here. This is not a deep plot, or War And Peace! This is Zombieland!
First and foremost, this is one violent movie. But hold on. There is about a million zombie kills in this flick, and they off them about in every way imaginable. But it's all done in a comic, satirical style that takes pretty much all the bite out of it. It's laughable to be honest, and that's the whole idea here. It's parody. It doesn't mean that it's not hard to watch sometimes, but it helps.
Zombieland will be a huge hit with the young crowd, and some will see this flick again and again. You might want to leave Nana at home here. This is a movie that a group of young friends can go to together and have a good laugh or two. I have to admit, the satire, parody, and shear absurdity did make me laugh a few times, and a couple rather hard. But it won't tickle everyone.
Zombieland. A bunch of ridiculous laughs...and we could use some.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
MOVIE REVIEW - More Than A Game
You may not be big on documentaries at the movies, and may think they are more PBS than you would like. More Than A Game may charge your mind about that.
MTAG is the story of LeBron James and the "Fab 5" growing up in Akron and telling their story from the gym at the Salvation Army on Maple Street, through the Championships at St. Vincent/St. Mary's High School that caught every one's attention in the country 6 years ago.
This movie started out as a high school class project years ago, has ended up as a real motion picture and still is a "class" project. MTAG is told in a wonderful smooth, modern documentary form. The main principles tell the story the way they saw it and remember it. Featuring all the Fab 5, and coaches. Filmed with Akron as the backdrop, MTAG really captures the moment when the world was watching and learning of Lebron and his team in the early 2000's.
This film is hard to describe, but it should NOT be missed. It is straight-forward and honest. Highly emotional at times, and spot on crisp and clean. With wonderful footage and stills from years past that will make you smile and well up at the same time. This movie doesn't make the big mistake of really being about basketball. It's the story of these kids and what they were all about, where they were from and why things went the way they did, with basketball as the common denominator.
More Than A Game. Limited release....not to be missed. If you have to find a theatre to see it, find it...see it. Very well done. Powerful, local, wonderful.
MTAG is the story of LeBron James and the "Fab 5" growing up in Akron and telling their story from the gym at the Salvation Army on Maple Street, through the Championships at St. Vincent/St. Mary's High School that caught every one's attention in the country 6 years ago.
This movie started out as a high school class project years ago, has ended up as a real motion picture and still is a "class" project. MTAG is told in a wonderful smooth, modern documentary form. The main principles tell the story the way they saw it and remember it. Featuring all the Fab 5, and coaches. Filmed with Akron as the backdrop, MTAG really captures the moment when the world was watching and learning of Lebron and his team in the early 2000's.
This film is hard to describe, but it should NOT be missed. It is straight-forward and honest. Highly emotional at times, and spot on crisp and clean. With wonderful footage and stills from years past that will make you smile and well up at the same time. This movie doesn't make the big mistake of really being about basketball. It's the story of these kids and what they were all about, where they were from and why things went the way they did, with basketball as the common denominator.
More Than A Game. Limited release....not to be missed. If you have to find a theatre to see it, find it...see it. Very well done. Powerful, local, wonderful.
MOVIE REVIEW - The Invention Of Lying
The title of this movie suggests, at least to me that this should be a real fun movie. And man does it give it the ol' college try. But in the end, The Invention Of Lying falls a bit short.
I'm not going to shred this movie here, but I honestly feel many will go into this flick preparing for a real laugh fest, and won't get it. But what they will get is an honest movie, about being dishonest.
Ricky Gervais is certainly the quintessential "lovable loser" character in his movies. A bit portly, and straight-laced. He's always trying to lure the woman who's "out of his league," and in this movie it's Jennifer Garner. Mark (Gervais) and Anna (Garner) live in a world where no one can even grasp the concept of lying! Everything is told in absolute truths, and literal interpretations. And at the films outset, that's pretty funny. No one can tell or understand one lie.
But then the plot thickens. Mark somehow grasps the lying concept and tells a whopper that rocks the entire world. About the afterlife. He then uses his command of lying for his own interests and some of that is kind of funny. But that's where the trouble starts for this movie.
It can't decide if it's a comedy or something more. And it gets a bit off target. And frankly, you can see some scenes are designed for big laughs that just don't come, grinding it to a halt. At times it's a bit Saturday Night Live, and at times a whole bunch of Monty Python with it's dialogue heavy understated style. Gervais wrote and produced this movie, and for many he is an acquired taste. Some will love it. Others will go, "what?" Luckily, it's a tidy 90 minutes and we don't have to get out the hand basket. Overall, it's much better idea than movie. Lot's of cameo's too, Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, Rob Lowe, and Jonah Hill. All of them on screen for about a combined 10 minutes. Just so you know.
But on the bright side? Gervais is really a breath of fresh air. He is funny, lovable, sympathetic, and really fun to watch. Huge kudos too, to Jennifer Garner. She is wonderful as the sweet, naive, more than honest Anna. I though she was just terrific in this really off-beat role and movie. She hard not to like here.
The Invention Of Lying. This is not a bad night at the movies at all. But after while it runs out of ideas, the joke gets old and falls below what you were hoping for.
I'm not going to shred this movie here, but I honestly feel many will go into this flick preparing for a real laugh fest, and won't get it. But what they will get is an honest movie, about being dishonest.
Ricky Gervais is certainly the quintessential "lovable loser" character in his movies. A bit portly, and straight-laced. He's always trying to lure the woman who's "out of his league," and in this movie it's Jennifer Garner. Mark (Gervais) and Anna (Garner) live in a world where no one can even grasp the concept of lying! Everything is told in absolute truths, and literal interpretations. And at the films outset, that's pretty funny. No one can tell or understand one lie.
But then the plot thickens. Mark somehow grasps the lying concept and tells a whopper that rocks the entire world. About the afterlife. He then uses his command of lying for his own interests and some of that is kind of funny. But that's where the trouble starts for this movie.
It can't decide if it's a comedy or something more. And it gets a bit off target. And frankly, you can see some scenes are designed for big laughs that just don't come, grinding it to a halt. At times it's a bit Saturday Night Live, and at times a whole bunch of Monty Python with it's dialogue heavy understated style. Gervais wrote and produced this movie, and for many he is an acquired taste. Some will love it. Others will go, "what?" Luckily, it's a tidy 90 minutes and we don't have to get out the hand basket. Overall, it's much better idea than movie. Lot's of cameo's too, Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, Rob Lowe, and Jonah Hill. All of them on screen for about a combined 10 minutes. Just so you know.
But on the bright side? Gervais is really a breath of fresh air. He is funny, lovable, sympathetic, and really fun to watch. Huge kudos too, to Jennifer Garner. She is wonderful as the sweet, naive, more than honest Anna. I though she was just terrific in this really off-beat role and movie. She hard not to like here.
The Invention Of Lying. This is not a bad night at the movies at all. But after while it runs out of ideas, the joke gets old and falls below what you were hoping for.
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