MOVIE REVIEW - Creature

In somewhat limited release, is the new supposedly scary, Creature.

The first time I went to see this movie the theater's projector broke after about 20 minutes. And to be honest, I think I enjoyed that showing a bit more than the next day when I was able to watch this debacle in its entirety. Some movies and many ideas are just better left in some sick dude's head and not be allowed to play out in plain view for all to see.

Creature is about this group of 6 young adults who are going on a mini-vacation. They stumble across this awful general store with with three scary looking men running it deep in the Louisiana Bayou Swamp. The kids are then convinced that they should take a tour of a home showcased in this scary store. They are given directions on how to get there by these men, and off they go to discover if a local legend of a "Swamp Creature" is really true. Turns out it is, and the getting picked off one at a time begins. Or so you think.

Creature begins almost as a parody of itself. Poking fun at the stupid stereotypical dumb things people do in these movies. You know the ones, where you are almost cheering for the monster to eat these clowns because they are so stupid. Every single stereotype is featured here. And they are not ashamed of it. And I have to admit, I was hoping the carnage would begin so I could go home. Then Creature turns.

Holy cow! Into some twisted mating ritual tale where these general store guys and the town at large try to mate this horrible monster with one of the three young, beautiful girls so the legend can go on for another generation with offspring. As the violence escalates, so does the twistedness that brings all these people to the swamp, and a sort of religious ceremony is performed, and the attempted mating seems to be averted. All the while our "hero's" are trying to kill this awful swamp creature. Have you heard enough?

The real trouble with Creature (besides some sick dudes writing it) is that despite all the ridiculous story lines, and infatuation with trying to be scary, it ends up being nothing...except dumb. Is this a slasher flick? Or perhaps a parody? Is this a gross-out fest? Or is this a serious attempt being a real thriller? As the story changes and morphs into this new story, it loses all momentum that it had, wish wasn't much. And it ends up being laughable and painful to watch.

What may have started out with a bit of sense of humor about itself, dies on the vine and rots. And you are just sitting there hoping that somehow the theater will have to be evacuated so you can go home after about an hour. And then lament on how you just wasted 10 bucks.

Creature. Only if you have way too much money!