MOVIE REVIEW - New Years Eve

Did you see last years Valentines Day at the movies? If so, you may or may not want to see the new New Years Eve opening this week. You see, it is the exact same movie. Different holiday, some of the same cast, and basically the exact same formula and story line.

I'm just going to say this up front. New Years Eve is putrid. Just awful, hard to find a worse movie. - Seriously. This is another attempt at jamming together a ton of good looking mid level stars in a movie and hoping for a good result. The trouble is not with our so-so stars, it's the writing. It's pathetic. And it gets no better from there.

This movie has a bad case of Hollywood ADD. It's basically a bunch of disconnected stories of "love" on New Years Eve, that slowly become connected. Just like Valentines Day. It jumps crazily from boring plot line to stupid plot line in a very amateurish fashion. There are a couple of applaudable moments and twists, but they are rare. But after those, and a few obligatory "awww" moments come and go, there is the rest of this junk heap. And there are far more questions to be asked about this movie.

First, what is the lovely, 2-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank doing anywhere hear this hunk of trash. She's usually so good, she shouldn't even go to this movie, let alone star in it! Same goes for Oscar winner beauty Halle Berry, and Oscar winner and icon Robert DeNiro. For a few bucks, they just watered down all these great awards. Someone should have reminded these three who they were, or maybe read the script before signing on the dotted line and flushing their credibility forcefully down the can.

Look, I get people like Jessica Biel, Josh Duhamel, Ashton Kutcher, Bon Jovi, Sarah Jessica Parker and Katherine Heigl making flicks like this. They can't bring people to the movies on their own, so they team up and make drivel like this. Understandable. Our expectations of them are relatively low, or non existent, so if this movie must be made they are the people for it.

I could only shake my head at Swank. Amazingly talented actress in the prime of her career stooping to such a low point in role choices. She is the main star of this movie, as her character is in charge of the Big Ball dropping in New York City. Boy there's a role of a lifetime! Her character is so ridiculously written it's hard to watch. Berry, has a role that is about minutes long, and DeNiro lays in a hospital bed most of the time dying on New Years Eve, but he wants only to see the ball drop.

Do you believe that Kathering Heigl as the greatest new chef in New York City? Me either. Do you want to hear Bon Jovi sing two songs that literally sound like Barry Manilow? Me either. How about Sarah Jessica Parker as a frustrated mom of a teen? No? Or 15 year old Abigail Breslin as her spoiled daughter? Still no?

Then maybe you just can't wait to see Michelle Pfeiffer as a shy, pathetic woman, who ends of doing things on screen I'm sure she never, ever dreamed of. It's all so embarrassing. Or maybe watching two other pregnant women characters and their husbands in a "squeeze out" contest to win at all costs to see who has the first baby of 2012. Because they will win $25,000. Good gravy man make this stop!! I never prayed so hard for a movie projector failure in my life.

New Years Eve. Quite possibly the worst movie of the year. Nothing about this is worth one dime, or one minute of time.