MOVIE REVIEW - Texas Chainsaw 3-D

Clearly, Hollywood is now officially out of new ideas.  Here comes Texas Chainsaw 3-D.

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre debuted in the theaters in October 1974.  At the time, it was a mortifying movie where this nut from deep in Texas, chainsaws a group of college aged kids on his property.  Including one in a wheelchair.  If you see it on video today, you have to go back in your mind to 1974 and realize this really had not been shown in movies until then.  It is tame by today's standards.  But it ushered in a new era, for good or worse in movie making. There has always been a bit of urban legend that it was based on some form of truth.  But it is not true, that was a marketing ploy for the original movie.

There have been a ton of knock-offs since then, and now we have Texas Chainsaw 3-D.   This movie picks up exactly where the 1974 movie leaves off.   I mean in the next hour in the story.  This is after a 5 minute recap of the original, with the original footage, and a montage of that actual story.   Then it flashes forward to modern day, and our story moves on.   And there lies the beginning of the trouble.  The characters with connections to the original story are bout 22 years old.  And the story was 39 years ago.   OK, we'll give them a pass on that.  Then it gets really stupid.

This group of young adults, led by two really hot women (a shocker) again end up on this families ranch in Texas, and guess what?  The same guy, thought dead from 1974, starts to carve up this group of young people. Plus, he pulls out a hammer, and an hatchet and other implements to add a bit of flair I guess.   Only this time it's not 1974, it's 2012, and it's a lot more gruesome.   And, it's in 3-D.   And there lies another problem, the 3-D here is really not very good.   It rarely really comes into play.  Oh, there's a few times the blades seem near you, but it adds nothing.  For most of this movie, the 3-D is not even a factor.   In fast, it makes this movie look a bit more silly then it is.

So let's add this up so far.   Silly remake with huge story holes, and a touted 3-D that is really a dud.   And a price per ticket that is about 30 percent more than regular movies.   In the end there was no real reason to make yet another Texas Chainsaw movie.   But here we are.

Texas Chainsaw 3-D.   Silly.