I went for a 4 mile walk about 5:30 this morning. It wasn't raining when I left. About halfway through, it started. And although I was sort of prepared for the rain, I still got soaked on my way home. As I as walking up the driveway, I was thinking that I couldn't wait to get out of these clothes and take a shower.
In a few minutes it hit me. Why does everyone in the world do that? You get soaked and complain about how wet to the bone you are, and the first thing you do......is get even wetter by taking a shower? It just doesn't make any sense, but we all do it. So it got me thinking about other things that people say that make really make no sense at all.
"I was soaked to the bone." - No one actually knows this to be fact. If you are capable of actually checking the texture of any of your bones, you need to stop reading this blog right now and seek help from a medical professional.
"It's a dry heat." - A real favorite of people who think they're Mr. or Miss Vegas. Or maybe more importantly, have never been to the desert but pretend they have. I say the oven's a dry heat too. Maybe dryer! Stick your head in there and tell me it's not hot.
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity." - A real favorite of people who have been to Florida for one week of their life. If the humidity was 0%.....100 degrees in the blazing sun is still hot.
"What's the wind chill?" - Strangely enough, we only start asking this question when the temperature is like 0 degrees. Does it really make any difference? It's 0 degrees!
"I don't mind flying, it's just the landings." - Hey!............no one likes the landings!.....but after take - off, your choices become limited.
" I Laughed so hard I almost peed my pants." - Has this actually happened to anyone -ever? I for one, have never seen it. And what does one have to do with the other? And if you did "almost" you're certainly NOT going to tell that to the masses!
"If I just would have straightened that one out." - Almost exclusive to golfers and baseball players. Look, you didn't hit it straight! You hacked it off to the left, or hit it into the stands 80 feet foul.
And finally,
"No one said it was going to be easy." - You only hear this when it's absolutely the last thing you want to hear. Yea, that makes me feel a lot better under the circumstances. Appreciate it.
And there are these gems:
"At the end of the day." -What day?
"Shooting fish in a barrel" - Ever know someone to do that?
These are just a few and all in fun. Don't fret if you've them, I have too.
Just remember....."It's a dry heat!"
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2 comments:
Along with "It's a dry heat," we also have "It's a different kind of hot."
This was a good, fun, thought provoking post, Scott. But then again it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one and I'm glad about that. I don't know any rocket scientists.
How about 'to be honest'... WHAT!? all this time you've been lying???
The correct thing to say is 'to be frank', but then, the only frank I knew was an uncle of mine who thought it was freaking hilarious to rub his scratchy unshaven face gruffly on your cheek to give you a 'beard burn' *shivers at the thought*!
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