Saturday, August 24, 2013

MOVIE REVIEW - You're Next

You're Next is the latest slasher flick to make the theaters.  This is supposed to be scary, or thrilling or something.  Fact it, all it really is laughable.

You're Next is the latest in these kinds of movies that yes, is bloody, and violent, but it's not like the old days where this is supposed to be scary.  It sort of has an aspect to it that is silly, and campy.  You are supposed to laugh at times, as the slash-fest moves along.  Yeah, you laugh along with this thing alright.  

This is a story where a hugely rich family all gets together for the parents 35th wedding anniversary. They have 4 grown children, and to say that this is a dysfunctional family would be a gross understatement.  These sibling hate eat other digging up childhood problems and getting after each other at the dinner table.  All of the siblings also bring their wives, or boy or girlfriends with them, and they get drug into this hornets nest.  They all get together at this highly remote mansion deep in the woods, where no one can get to them easily.

Suddenly, they all start getting killed and picked off one by one by some lunatic with a crossbow dressed up in I think a sheep's mask.  Who is this? And why is he hunting down this family?  That is as deep as the plot gets in this blood-fest.  For the final 80 minutes or so, this is just violence.  Be it ridiculous, it's violent.   And being honest, you hate every member of this family so much,you don't mind much seeing hem getting "offed."

This is a movie that stars no one you know, and no one you will ever know.   This is the poster child for poor writing, and absolutely the worst acting you will ever see.  And that is part of the allure for the cult that will flock to this movie.  The performances are so horrible, they are laughable. The script, the putrid music and the silly decisions our characters make is simply laughable.

Sure, there is a jolt or two, but you quickly understand this is not scary, it's silly.  How many ways can we think of to kill about a dozen people and not let everyone watching get bored.  Movie makers have resigned to the fact that slasher movies are not scary, but for many can be entertaining, so here we are with You're Next.   You're Next - to be killed, get it?  OK.  Be advised this is a hard rated R.

You're Next.   It is so bad, it actually isn't that bad.

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