Friday, July 31, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Funny People

Adam Sandler is back this week in the new Dramedy, Funny People. This movie has a real good cast of today's young comics, including Seth Rogen, Eric Bana, and many others.

This is an attempt at a "crossover movie." Not really a true comedy, not a serious drama. But rather a chance for Rogen and Sandler to shed the image of sophomoric humor movies, and make a more "adult" film. And to a degree, they do. But even though this is a relatively new day, there are some troubles here.

Front and center. This movie is two hours and twenty minutes long. Entirely too long. And in this case, it really is a killer. I am in shock the producers allowed this to trudge on as long as they did. Funny People becomes so complicated, with so many things going on it gets in it's own way time and time again. And it's a shame.

Funny People is the story of George (Sandler) a fictitious super successful comic, and movie star who is dying of cancer. He has no real friends or life. He befriends Ira (Rogen) an struggling young comic. George hires Ira to be his assistant and write jokes for him giving Ira the break of his life. Then as luck would have it experimental treatments work and George gets a second chance at life. That's the movie's strength. It's a guy in his late 40's that gets a second chance to make things right, after blowing it the first time around.

Some of that is real nice. There are some real strong moments here of nice drama, and some new challenges for our stars. There's also some real funny stand-up comic bits and dialogue that work real well and give us a few laughs. But Funny People sets out to be one kind of movie, and becomes another kind halfway through. Fatal mistake. It's just gets too darn complicated, and non - funny after a while. We just have too much in our mouths at one time, and in the end there's just too much to digest.

Funny People is a real good idea. And in the hands a more skilled movie maker, this could have worked well. Maybe another rewrite, a sharper editing tool, cutting out some secondary characters, and staying on topic, Funny People could have been so much more. It is so easy to see. Big on idea and potential, that just needed a hero behind the scenes to make it really sing. This is a movie that could be remade in 15 years, with some changes and be really slick. I was thinking this was going to be an eye-opener for Rogen and Sandler, but it's not. Too, too bad.

Rated R, and deservedly so. Lots of really harsh language and subject matter, with very graphic stand-up comedy throughout. There's probably too much of that as well. The dirty jokes get a bit old by hour two. Lots of fun cameo's do work well, and there some real bright spots in Funny People. But in the end, it's just a shame.

Funny People. It's a movie of moments. There are some great ones, and some awkward, lousy ones too. Too long for sure. Over all, not a train wreck, but definitely disappointing.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Orphan

Where to begin? Orphan is new at the box office this week. It's another attempt at being scary this summer, that fails miserably.

Orphan is the story of a real screwed up young family, seemingly nice folks who turn out to be the dumbest people on earth. A young married couple with two young children. They decide to adopt another child, 9 year old Esther, who was an orphan from Russia. Of course, she has all kinds of problems and an agenda, and things go horribly wrong from the day the adoption becomes final.

That's as far as I'll go with the "plot." I can better spell it out this way. If you want to see a little girl terrorize and try to murder other little kids, even one that is deaf. If you want to see her try to seduce the father, try to kill the mother, she even beats a nun to death with a hammer. If all of that is good with you, then Orphan is your movie. If not, you can just move on to the shuffleboard court, or olf course, or clean the closet or something. Orphan is not scary, not suspenseful or anything redeeming at all.

Okay, I will give the movie its one due. They do promise a surprise ending that you don't see coming, and that's true. And that does take a bit of the sting out of the above, but it's way too late by that point. Orphan is just senseless, dumb and disturbing. It's predictable for the most part, and violent, jsut to be violent. Do we really like to see young kids doing really terrible things? Murder, manipulation, and just generally being ruthless and awful? I hope not.

Orphan is really not worth talking about at length, but it has drawn an audience this week, but to be honest, it's really not worth you time or your dime.

Ya Gotta Lace 'Em Up Tight!

The title of this blog is a sports phrase used somewhat in jest that directs one to get ready for a tough task ahead. A reference to shoelaces obviously. A coach might say that to his team before the big game, in an effort to motivate his players to get ready for a tough battle ahead on the field.

But today, I am saying that to you...the Northeast Ohio sports fan. If you are one, after Wednesday, you certainly have to lace 'em up tight. You probably heard about the Indians trading the current Cy Young winner Cliff Lee to the Phillies, for 4 guys no one has ever heard of. The cornerstone player in return is 18 years old. I have shoes older than that! That need to be laced up tight again!

It's not often one has to come up with a rallying cry for a team FANS! But we have too. It's tough to go through this year after year with team after team. To be a fan of these Cleveland teams is hard work! It really is! We watched the Cavs have a wonderful 66 win season, only to see it end too soon. The Browns??? Well, okay that's too easy. The Indians have had a season to forget, only now we'll remember that 2009 as the season that the Tribe became the first team in Major League history to trade Cy Young winners in consecutive seasons. Sheesh!


I for one am proud to be a fan of the Cavs, Tribe and Browns. Because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It's hard, arduous work. It's almost like having a second or third job! After the game it's like a job well done. "Well, I survived another calamity today! And I'm still standing!!!" Being a fan of New York teams, or Boston teams,..that's easy. You simply buy up all the good players and win every year. Namby-pamby fans. There's no challenge in that. The same goes for teams in Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, and other big markets. It's easy, AND YOU'RE SOFT. I say to them, "Do something hard......root for our teams!"

I honestly believe we fans are actually tougher than the players in any city. After all, they're getting paid for all this. We go through this fiery abyss unpaid, in fact WE PAY to be fans. Now that's passion!

Without getting too sportsy here, we've been down this road before. Last year trading CC Sabathia for three players yet to be on the major league roster. And now Lee, for 4 players at least 3 years away from playing for the Tribe. Yankee fans can not relate to any of this. And they call themselves fans! Sheesh again! They have the easiest rooting job on earth. They're not really fans, they are ........fair weather fans..... Front runners.

If you find yourself disillusioned today, it's okay. Just remember in New York they boo the players who don't perform. Around here we boo the front office when they blow it.

In the meantime fans, "Lace 'Em Up Tight!" We're in for another tough battle. We've got 60 games to go.

Friday, July 24, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - The Ugly Truth

The new Katherine Heigl movie is out this weekend, The Ugly Truth. Heigl, of course continues to make the jump from the small screen to the big screen. 27 Dresses had much to be desired, and there's been a few other stumbles for her, but what about the romantic comedy The Ugly Truth?

Meet Abby (Heigl) she is a producer for a local Sacramento television station's morning show. The show is suffering terrible ratings, and her job is on the line. Station management hires Mike (Gerard Butler.) Mike is the host of a cable TV show called The Ugly Truth. It's a "shock jock" show where he gives direct (and I mean direct) advice on men and women's relationships. Abby and Mike clash of course, but have to make it work professionally. The ratings soar, and things are good.

Mike also gives Abby dating advice off the air, and they make a deal. If his advice works for her in dating life, then that's great. If it doesn't, he'll quit and get out of her hair. To no ones surprise, you know where the movie is headed the whole time. But to honest, it doesn't matter. There's enough good about The Ugly Truth to make it fun.

Heigl is really fun as the over-controlling, uptight Abby. Heigl is always engaging in her movie roles. She's beautiful, and funny, and what is always very appealing about Heigl, is that she's not afraid to look foolish in her comedy. She was become very physically funny as well. I have always loved her, but her choice of movies, and roles has always been the culprit. Here she shines, and delivers.

The Ugly Truth does have an ugly wrinkle or two. It doesn't make every right decision, but all can be forgiven. This is not an Oscar winner, nor is it designed to be. Butler and Heigl are fun together, and give you some real laughs. Heigl especially in two really runny scenes, one involving vibrating underwear had the theater in stitches. An average supporting cast - well cast, to allow Butler and Heigl to shine. Well done.

The Ugly Truth. Not fantastic, but fun.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Movies First Six Months of 2009

We just cleared the halfway point of 2009. If you're not able to catch all the movies at the box office, and are renting these days, or pay-per-viewing, here is some help with movies from 2009 so far. I leave out the huge blockbusters overall on these lists, they get the hype and the glory, and you more than likely have seen many of them. Although, I couldn't resist all of them, so here we go.

Best Bets so far

1/ Star Trek - Still in theaters. Fun time at the movies, without being too Star Trekkie,
Based heavily on the TV show. Story of the original crew as young recruits. Well done!


2/ Up! - Again still in theaters. Fantastically animated piece for the whole family. You can
see if in terrific 3-D as well. Worth a ticket. The whole family will love it.


3/ Pelham 123 - Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Action movie about a modern
day terrorist attack on a NYC subway. Great performances. Still in theaters.


Honorable mention too - Monsters VS. Aliens, (animated)



Sleepers on DVD or Pay-Per-View



1/ Knowing - Nicolas Cage stars as scientist that uncovers a code that can has predicted and
can predict disasters from a 50 year period with accuracy. Pay no attention to the
national critics, this is a pretty good flick.


2/ Taken - Liam Neeson stars as a retired G-man, who has to go over seas to rescue his
kidnapped teenage daughter. A bit far -fetched at times, but it still works.


3/ Adventureland - Takes you back to the 80's as a late teenager. Story of how awkward
we all were , at life and young love. This movie went unnoticed, and that's a shame.
Worth a watch.


Honorable Mention - Away We Go (in theaters now)



Dogs of the Dogs!

1/ New In Town - Renee Zellweger, and Harry Connick Jr. Terrible,piece of junk.
Attempted romantic comedy. She is awful, he is liveable, but a waste of time really.


2/ Observe And Report - Seth Rogan. He can do such funny things, this is not among them
though. Not funny, just gross, and ...why anyway??


3/ Obsessed - Beyonce'. Pay no attention to the hype here. this movie stinks. Predictable,
insulting, just not good. If you don't see the end coming in the first 5 minutes, you have
to be asleep.


You can see all the reviews of all the years movies month by month on my blogsite.

MOVIE REVIEW - I Love You, Beth Cooper

It's time for another teen comedy, and this week, it's I Love You, Beth Cooper. This one stars Hayden Panettiere and Paul Rust, and is directed by prominent Director, Chris Columbus.

ILYBC is the story of Denis, (Rust) who is the geeky high school valedictorian who gives his commencement speech professing his love for the ever-popular beauty Beth Cooper (Panettiere.) Denis also uses his forum to confess a few other feelings he has towards some of his other classmates as well. Many of which do not sit well with some of his classmates. So many of them set out to set the score striaght with Denis, beth being among them.

Beth is popular, and beautiful of course and Denis is not. It's a teen graduation party night flick, where kids end up doing things we wish they wouldn't, but know they do. You can see the formula developing that neither of our main characters are really what they seem. Will Denis and Beth hook up? Or will this just be a teen movie gag scene fest with no real reason for even being made? That's the premise here.

ILYBC tries real hard at times to really develop a story line that goes beyond a bunch of gags. It succeeds at moments, but can't seem to see it all the way through as it could have. The real strength of this movie is that it really tries to show the "class system"that still exists, and has always existed in high school. It gives it a modern day feel quite well, without showing young kids as those that run the world. True, kids this age have more than ever before, but this movie is not a cell phone, Ipod, gadget us to death, kids have everything movie. It is probably a very accurate portrayal of suburban kids today.

Panattiere, and Rust have their moments together on camera, and there is a certain believability to the whole thing. A new star may be born though, Lauren Storm, as Treece, one of Beth's friends, who is a bit dingy, and fun, really gives a laugh or two for us here. She may not be leading lady material, but you will certainly see her again as a supporting actress in movies in the future.

I Love You, Beth Cooper. For young adults and older teens, a laugh or two. To be honest I expected bad, real bad. Instead, I got just OK.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

That Just Cracks Me Up!

Laughter is good medicine, even when no medicine is required. It's good for the body, mind and soul. There should be more laughter in the world as a rule, and we'd all feel a bit better. Especially in tough times like now.

One of the really funny things that crack me up, are the things that little kids say sometimes. I know it's cliche' but it's true, kids say the darnedest things. My friend Don and Terri's son Derek when he was young used to crack me up from time to time. Being really interested in sports, when he was about 8 or 9, he would ask me something like this. "Scott, if Randy Johnson was pitching to Babe Ruth at Jacobs Field,..who would win?" Great ask! I have no idea! What cracks me up about that is where did that come from?

Little Al. He's my friend Al and Tammi's little boy. He'll just ask out of the blue, "Scott, why does Victor Martinez wear number 41?" or " Who on the Indians wore number 17 in 2003?" Another great question....Where did that come from? In 2003...Little Al was like 3!

My mom loves to tell the story of me running up to the house when two nuns where coming over to visit when I was about 5 or so. "Mom, there's two Angels coming up the driveway!!" It still cracks her up... and me too...now..Wasn't so funny at 19, when I had a new girlfriend over at Christmas.

Saturday night, we went to Huntington Beach for a walk, and we ran into some real nice people there. There was the real nice family walking along like we were, and one of their 3 little girls all under 7, walked up to me and proudly stated this. "If you're in Michigan, just one more hour and you'll be in Chicago!" Those were the only words she said to me, and that just cracked me up! I had nothin'! What do you say to that? I think I said, "That's good." But it really cracked me up. We laughed about that for a while.

I just wonder where little ones get these funny things to say, and then the gumption to say them. It's funny to hear how their little minds work. Thank goodness there are those among us that aren't worried about the economy, or the news, and just worry that their question or statement gets out there for us to hear and ponder.

Oh, and by the way, turns out that she's pretty close to being right on the Michigan/Chicago thing.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Bruno

Political correctness is once again under attack in the new Sacha Baron Cohen movie, Bruno new at the box office this weekend.

Cohen is the same actor who gave us Borat in 2006, and Bruno, although his character is different, the premise is the exactly same. Supposedly catching ordinary Americans off guard, and producing a very mean spirited version of Candid Camera. Borat was such a huge hit that you knew there had to be more, and Bruno is more....of the same.

The story line here of course, is secondary to the stuff that really makes the movie. Cohen "goes after" some of the same kind of folks he did in Borat. He again hammers away at selected politicians, and generally anyone that more than likely he feels are easy to exploit, and make fools of. My gut tells me that these select groups that have different views than his own in real life. To be honest, it's just Borat revisited. The originality that Borat caught the world off guard with, is lacking here. We've been there and we've done that.

There are a few compelling moments here, if in fact all of these bits are not pre-planned and done by actors. One in particular, that I thought was easily the movies best moment. Bruno is posing as a casting director for a new TV show that needs child actors. The "real" interviews with the parents of the children is telling. The parents shown agreed to "anything" to get their kid on TV. And I mean ANYTHING. If in fact that bit is "real"..... it's real sad. I fear that moment IS true. Amazing, and pathetic. Shame on the parents.

Overall, Bruno is so much like Borat, that it's not funny really. It's extremely harsh and mean spirited, with no real redeeming value at all. I think the reason these movies are such big successes, is that we're all happy the joke isn't on us. We would all be horrified if it was us, or worse yet, someone we loved being filmed and exploited in their worst moment for eternity, so Sacha Baron Cohen could get even richer. You know, a little bit of "the jokes on you" humor goes a long way in real life, and in film. Maybe that's the real "punking" here. Maybe the real jokes on all of us. Cohen makes a movie like this, and 100 million people plop down 8 bucks a ticket to see it.

Be aware too, that you'll hear many from Hollywood praising this movie as "groundbreaking, original, earthshaking"..blah,, blah, blah.....but it's not. They're not watching is with any real objectivity. There's NO new ground here. There was some laughter today in the crowded theater, but not what you would expect.

Just a word about this. This is an adult movie. There is nothing in Bruno that will be any kind of decent influence on any kid, anywhere, who tells his parents he's going to see something else, but ends up in Bruno instead.

Bruno......Borat again. Once was plenty enough.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Whatever Works

Besides the huge blockbusters at the theaters these days, there are some smaller movies, and many times they get lost. Whatever Works is the new Woody Allen movie new in theaters this week. And it's typical, classic Woody Allen.

WW is written and directed by Allen, and after about 5 minutes there is no question you are on for another Allen ride you've taken time and time again. WW is loaded with snappy, quick, understated dialogue, and forces you to listen quickly. A real trademark of Allen films. They just have that "feel."

WW stars Larry David as Boris. Boris is an older, strange brilliant man who lives in New York City. He has an incredibly high IQ, and due to this and life's circumstances, he has become a terrible cynic on just about every single issue in life. After a failed suicide attempt, and a divorce, (both handled with great humor) he finds himself alone in the world. Enter Melody. A 20 year old runaway from Mississippi, who finds herself somehow living with Boris after moving to the city. Melody is Boris's polar opposite. She is young, funny, pretty, idealistic, naive, and willing to learn life's lessons from Boris forty years her senior. Strange friendship to be sure.

That's about as far as I can go with the story line, as her family gets involved and it's a huge opposites attract fest. All handled with deadpan humor, and the usual quirks that run through a Woody Allen movie. Of course a goofy soundtrack is needed, and delivered. Co-starring, Michael McKean, Patricia Clarkson, and Ed Begley Jr., Whatever Works is a fun, quick 90 minute visit to the movies.

Whatever Works is not for everyone, but for Allen fans it's fun. Last year his summer movie Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona was one of the best reviewed movies of the year. After all these years, Woody Allen still makes movies that look like the movies he made years ago, but somehow they keep up with the times.

Whatever Works. Like many Allen movies, a little fun, at a little movie.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Away We Go

One of the good things about reviewing movies is when you find a real unexpected gem of a movie. That's Away We Go.

I walked into this Sam Mendes directed flick knowing virtually nothing about it, and came out with a great review. Up front, this is an adult piece and is totally inappropriate for minor children. Not that they would be the slightest bit interested in Away We Go anyway.

It's the story of Burt (John Krasinski, and Verona (Maya Rudolph). They are very much in love, underachieving thirty-four year - olds who have been dating, and living together forever. They consider themselves "screw-ups" and suddenly find themselves pregnant, unplanned. With no real attachments in the world, they set out on a cross-country journey to find the perfect place to raise their unborn child. They try Phoenix, Tucson, Montreal, Madison, and Miami.

In each of these stops, they know someone to a degree, and hook up with them after not seeing them for a while. The cast of idiots they encounter all have their ownsproblems, and life story to tell. Through them, Burt and Verona discover what they don't want for themselves, or their baby, You don't see many "life lesson" movies that are really entertaining, but Away We Go certainly is.

This gem is not for everyone. It is a quirky piece, that many times over isn't for the once a year movie goer. Krasinsky, and Rudolph are terrific as our likeable, goofy couple dealing with big changes in their lives. There is also a wonderful supporting cast with Catherine O'Hara, Jeff Daniels, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Allison Janney. Janney is fantastic in her small role as one of the crazy fools they meet along the way, and is almost worth the ticket price alone. Toss in a small, simple quirky soundtrack and you have a real fun time at the movies.

Away We Go is NOT for everyone. There are a few moments of real discomfort here, and the subject matter can be a straightforward at times. But, Away We Go, made me laugh out loud at times, and really think at other times. This is one of the big. pleasant surprises of the year.

Away We Go. For adults only. Quirky, awkward, strange, fun at the movies. Very well done! A real nice break from the big blockbusters and cartoons for adults.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dogs I've Known

I love dogs. I went through a long stretch in my life where I didn't have a dog, and I don't know how I did it. I have a dog now, an Australian Cattle dog named Kona and she's great. She's a rescue I've had for 7 years. Her first owner abandoned her. They chained her to a backstop in the Metroparks, and the Rangers found her at 3am one night! She's a super sweet pooch with a great manner, and wouldn't hurt a fly. I thought I'd look back at some of the great hounds that I've known over the years, and give them the due they deserve.

Taffy - The first dog I can remember. She was our family pooch, a border collie mix. She lost a leg about halfway through her life, but got around fine with three. In fact, it never really phased her at all..she seemed to wake up one day and say, "Oh gosh, I have three legs....let's go play." And play she did till she was about 15 or so.

Lafayetta - One of Taffy's puppies, I was allowed to keep when I was about 9 years old. I even got to name her. (Stupid name I know.) I got it off a hose nozzle attachment box my mom bought. That was the brand name. Lafayetta didn't care....lived till about 12 or so.

Mariah - She was a lab puppy mix that I got out of the APL in 1982. I chose her because they said she was the next to go, and needed a home TODAY! I moved to Columbus in 1983, and I gave her to my mom. One thing. One February, Mariah fell through the ice one at a pond by accident. My then 70 year old mother saved her by going out in the freezing water to get her, breaking ice the whole way. (50 feet or so) Mariah rewarded her by being great company for her for 15 years, most of it sleeping in front of the fireplace, and staying close.

The Big White Dog - At a drive in movie theater in 1980, a bunch of us went to catch a double feature and grill out in the back row on hibachi's. (We did this all the time) As I headed up to the film house for a bathroom break, a GIGANTIC Great Dane came flying out of a panel truck, and ran right up to me barking the whole time. I was scared to death! Then two "dudes" sitting in lawn chairs yelled, "Cream Puff!!! Get over here!" The dog's name was Cream Puff, and she turned out to be very nice. She went back to the truck, with head down. I went to the men's room. Think it was no longer necessary though.

Wally - Was my friends Don's dog in the late 70's and early 80's. A beautiful black collie. The most laid back dog I've ever seen. One time at a super loud party in Don's basement with about a thousand people there, music blaring, you know the works. Wally decided to take a nap on the basement steps so everyone had to step over him all night. Cracked me up. Still cracks me up all these years later! After all, it was his house!

Bo - My friend Joe's dog still. Black lab. In his younger days, Bo spent many hours in Joe's refrigerator scarfing down leftover cuisine while Joe and Lori were at work. They bought some kind of seat belt contraption to keep Bo out. Bo figured that out too. The dining continued.

K.C. - My brothers dog, some kind of nice mutt. Just passed away. At my brothers wedding in 1992, the reception was at my mom's house. As I woke up the day after, I noticed a spot of frosting on her nose just below the eye. She apparently dined on the entire north wall of the wedding cake while we all slept. Her tongue couldn't reach the spot on her face. Busted!

Dogs are great, and are a huge part of our lives. If you're a dog lover, don't forget to visit our new website petpalsnow.com and leave your story.

And don't forget to support you local animal shelter with either cash, or acts of service.

Remember too, dogs are under strict doctors orders.....eat...sleep....play!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW - Public Enemies

Just in time for the holiday weekend, Johnny Depp steps into the spotlight with Director Micheal Mann's Public Enemies. A 2 hour and 30 minute depiction of the end of the John Dillinger era in the early 1930's.

Dillinger (Depp) was the first Public Enemy Number One, as termed by J. Edgar Hoover, and was the final straw in getting the United States to create the FBI as we know it today. PE Takes place at the zenith of Dillinger's ruthless bank robbing career during the Great Depression. It's the story of a bank robber, clearly the last of his breed. The world has finally caught up to run-of-the-mill bank robbers, and they can't keep up. Technology (crude as it seems today) has taken over. There is a new breed of crime fighter too. More skilled, savvy, and ruthless themselves. Christian Bale is Melvin Purvis. He is charged with bringing in, or killing Dillinger by Hoover himself.

PE makes a good case for the complicated man that was Dillinger. True, he was a charming, sometimes affable young man, who too understood the ever growing media. He used them to create public sympathy for him in the papers. The Dillinger legend continues to grow even to this day, but this movie doesn't make the fatal flaw. In the end, Dillinger was a ruthless, shrewd, bank robber, and eventual cold blooded killer.

This is a big movie in every way. Long, intense, and involved. Sometimes a bit too involved. Lots of twists and turns, and tons of gun play. Action is sporadic, but long actiony scenes when they get around to it. A well used soundtrack compliments Depp's big performance, and a well cast around him make PE a good movie. But not a great movie. It's length is its weak link. A fine finish, but takes way too long to get there.

Public Enemies. Good. Not great!