MOVIE REVIEW - Arthur

I know, I know Arthur is the funniest movie of all time, Russell Brand is the bomb, and I can't stop laughing!

Here's to thinking that those prose will not be uttered anytime soon, and the remake of Arthur hits theaters this weekend. But you could glue two of those prose together and make an accurate statement. Arthur 2011 is a bomb.

First off, if you're going to remake Arthur, Brand is the guy. And if you're going to rework it for the new century, the idea of having Arthur have a Nanny and not a butler...good call, and Helen Mirren is a good choice. But man, give them something they can use. Clearly, Hollywood is still out of ideas.

This ageless tale of a spoiled, drunken middle aged man who has never grown up, and now faces the choice of love or money was funny with Dudley Moore some 30 years ago. But let's not go overboard. The original Arthur was not time-stopping fantastic. What made that flick funny, was the sheer animated Moore performance and the idea that being drunk all the time was funny. He played a great drunk. Now, a generation later or so, we just don't think that being crocked all the time is really funny movie making anymore. There have been about 40,000 drunken movies since. And even though I was not a huge Moore fan, there was a certain innocent charm as a short, underdog that made him funny and made you cheer for him.

This script is so thin, so fragile and to be very honest so watered down and boring, these actors have no chance. When I saw Arthur, it looked like the film makers were just trying to get it over with. There is no passion for this movie, within the movie itself. And if you've seen the trailer, you have seen the entire movie. Every scene that you might consider funny, has been played in commercials for months now. There is nothing more.

This movie has been sufficiently updated for a new audience. There is no "longing for the old days" here. I sat in a packed theater today, and did not hear one, not one... significant laugh from the theater. It takes guts, not to mention incredible skill as a movie maker to redo movies that defined a generation on some level and be good. To make an established movie your own, is very hard. Too hard for this bunch.

Sometimes, it would just be apt to leave well done enough alone. Nothing wrong with trying to introduce an old story to a new fan base. But don't take that responsibility lightly, or you will have Arthur 2011. It's just not funny. It's just not anything.

Except a real miss and bigger mess.