Tuesday, December 4, 2012

MOVIE REVIEW - The Collection

Ah, these kind of movies are always fun to review.  This week it's the new slasher, horror flick, The Collection.  Right up front, I am not anti-slasher flicks. Been seeing them for 30 years, and they are like any other movie in some fashion.  There are good ones and bad ones.

But this is quite possibly the worst movie of the year in just about every single regard.  It is the sequel to the 2009 hunk-o-junk, The Collector.  You know, it's one thing to be bad, silly, and not well thought out.  It's another thing to be unoriginal, and a rip-off, and that's all this is. 

If you need (or want) refreshing, this is the movie that has the same basic feel of the Saw series.  This horrible serial killer is killing hundreds of people with strangely made steel torture devices that he controls, as he slaughters people at will.   "The Collector" now has an old and abandon hotel that he has turned into his own torture chamber.  All boobie-trapped and tricked out to make rescuing his victims virtually impossible.  But they try.

Elena is a young woman who has been captured by our killer. Her rich father then hires a group of thugs and rescuers to go into this hotel and save his little girl.  All with the help of a man that has escaped the killer -  the day earlier!.   So let's set this scene. The Collector is well known on the news as this killer that has seemingly killed hundreds of people with hundreds more missing and presumed captured by him.   So, this is what transpires.   Keep reading, no kidding.

So after our heroes find this hotel (by the most ridiculous means possible,)  this groups of 6 non-professionals decide to go into this killing chamber.  With light weapons, no protective clothing, no communication, no plan, no escape plan.  Just the wish to bring Elena home.  So they go in and of course, start getting picked off one by one, dying horrible, bloody deaths.   Who in the world would not have called in the police, a SWAT team and just the authorities in general to capture a notorious and famous serial killer inflicting terror over the entire world?  Well, these clowns.  This is just one of 1,000 things that make this just plain sputrid.  And it is so amazingly obvious. 

And it gets way more dumb than that but it's not worth it here. This is a blood fest of the first order.  Killing, dismembering, and extreme torture is all you get.  Clearly, the makers of this series saw Saw, loved it and decided that it's too much work to be original, but easier to take someones idea and call it your own adding your own bells and whistles.  Making bad movies is one thing, being completely unoriginal, and brainless is quite another.

The Collection.  It's not scary, or suspenseful, or anything near compelling at all.  It's just killing and landing head first in body parts.  The door is open for more of these, but let's all pray that this one is such a financial disaster that we can avoid this torture again.  First weekend take of 3 million - complete disaster.

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