How Great Are Hamburgers Anyway?

This weekend it the Annual Akron Hamburger Festival at Lock 3. You know as you trek around town you hear things. Some people are very excited about it, some luke-warm, some actually against it. I have to ask the latter of these three groups this question. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

Exactly, how great are hamburgers anyway? I'm serious. I could eat a burger every day. As a matter of fact, I'm not far away from that average right now. How can anyone actually think that having a two-day festival in summer, that honors maybe the greatest food concoction or all time is a bad idea? Let me see if I have this straight. Two summer days, downtown with friends and family, having a drink or two, and eating hamburgers. C'mon get a grip!

Look, I can do without the bobbing for burgers bit and the immersing grown human beings in a plastic wading pool of ketchup, I'm down with that. I can maybe even do away with the speed eating routine, unless you're bringing in Kobyashi. If I'm going to watch adults wolf down 40 burgers in 15 minutes, I want the professionals doing it. Not Bob from accounting. I've got to work with him on Monday, you know???? And to be brutally honest, I have no interest in taking a class or seminar on the history of the dish, or where or how it began. I'm not concerned about voting for the best burger, or the biggest. I just want to eat one. But other than that, bring on the burgies!!!!!!!!!

Last summer Stacy and I went to a terrific beach house in California for 8 glorious days with our best friends Don and Terri and their family. It was in Sunset beach, about a 1 minute walk from the Pacific Ocean. It was the vacation of our lives. Great house, great beach, great people, and nothing but time on our hands. But as great as that was, here we are a year later do you know what we talk about first when that vacation comes up? Eating hamburgers! True! We grilled up a ton of burgers, and put them in the fridge. So about 5 times a day when you would walk through the kitchen, you'd grab a burger, 30 seconds in the wave, and you were good to go. We all ate a burger about ever 3-4 hours or so. It was the perfect vacation.

Hamburgers. Ground up steak that you can flatten out, and put on the grill. Man, what's not to like? You can put anything on them. You can use a regular bun, kaiser roll, pita pocket, even bread if your desperate. Toast the bun, or not. Cheese if you please. Onion, pickles, mayo, mustard, ketchup, tomatoes, it's all good. You can have them huge, or a tiny slider. Single patty or double. Fried or grilled, flame broiled too. I don't care. Just hand one over and let's get to work. What other food can boast all that? Not many. I'm getting hungry just typing this.

So look, if you think the Hamburger Festival isn't a good idea, I suggest you re-evaluate your priorities in life. Maybe take a anger management class. I ask again , what's not to like? If you insist on sticking to your guns on this highly important issue, then I hope you enjoy your Tofu, or Bree, or whatever festival that your looking for instead. I'm sure you'll have a nice time with Buffy and Biff, and tell them I said "hi" will ya? And when they ask you where I am, tell them I'm mid-bite on a burger with a cold King or Rock on the side.