It's Still February!

I've thought about it from virtually every angle before sitting down to write this piece, and I keep coming to the same conclusion. February just isn't any good.

I don't like it anymore than you do. Dissing an entire month simply because it exists. But after careful review, February just doesn't have any real redeeming qualities, sad to say. February is the monthly equivalent to, "no mans land." It's the abyss of months. There are those over the years have tried to prop February up and give it some feel, but they too have failed miserably.

Think about all that's been done to February over the years. First they lopped off two days at then end to shorten it down get the whole mess over with, and flip over to March. (And by the way, I've got a bone or two with March, the whole lion/lamb thing, but that's another day.) This "lopping off" in theory is a good idea, but in the end - ho hum. Then came the installation of Ground Hog's Day. Ah yes. There's just something about watching a bunch of drunken idiots in stove pipe hats in Pennsylvania playing around with a rodent at 7am on national TV that I look forward to every year. It really starts the month off with a bang, to know this rodent always says 6 more weeks of winter.

Two weeks later comes Valentines Day. Now here's a good idea. Let's take the worst month of the year and toss in a "holiday" where your love life is on display for the entire world to see. Sheesh! Then comes a Federal Holiday with Presidents Day, many get the day off. Good idea. Then there's the "pitchers and catchers report to spring training thing." So? They're in Florida and Arizona, where speaking from experience, February is too SHORT!

Then the Daytona 500, The NBA All-Star Game, and now they even play the Superbowl in February. The Oscar nominations come out, there are about 5,000 awards shows on, and still February drags on and on and on. This year, we really get the bonus, as the Olympics are on for two weeks. Question. Have you never tried to push a chain? That's February. No matter what you do, it just doesn't work.

Then as a final futile attempt at February fun, the February fans really flubbed it up, with this silly leap year/day thing. You know 28 days except on leap year, when there's 29...blah blah.....who the heck cares? It's not cute, it's not clever, it just makes it longer once every 4 years. You want better reviews? Add that silly day in June! June's got 30,... there's room, the math still works out, and it's JUNE!!! Every four years it could go right there. We'd all benefit. Get with it man! Anyone disagree?

Well that's it, I'm going out now and take the dog out on the wind swept frozen tundra that was my back yard. Maybe later I'm hoping to knock some of the stalagmite icicles off my gutter, and then maybe towards days end, I'll sit in my living room and listen to my gas meter spin and sound like a Chinook Helicopter. I've got a full day.

I am convinced that in three months....it will still be February. I don't know how that will be possible, but it will.

Or at least it may seem so.