Seasonings!

I've been hearing a lot of yak lately about how fall is here, and how it's so great. I want it clearly on the record, I am not anti-fall. But with all this fall fallderall lately, I thought maybe it was a good chance to review the seasons at-large and toss out some honest observations on each.

We'll start with the first season on the calender itself - Winter!

Winter stinks! Okay, maybe that's not quite as in depth as you would like, but it is the truth for the most part. I have always had this very unscientific theory about those who say, " I love winter!" They're lying. Oh, they may like the first sled riding of the season, the holidays, and all the cheer that goes with that. Some ice skating, skiing, a hot toddie or two, but then the reality of it all sets in like a bad case of dry, cracked feet. The driving, the sliding, the frozen gutters, the ice, the fender-benders, the heating bills, frozen pipes....PLEASE stop me...it'll be here soon enough. Additional theory. If winter was from Thanksgiving till say January 2? No problem. Plenty of time to do all the fun stuff, and then it can be 74 degrees again.

But as luck would have it, winter gives way to - spring!


Spring is schizophrenic. It can't decide what it wants to be. It wages the great annual battle between warm and cold. Someone's gotta do it, and we've given that job to spring because all the other seasons are too smart to take it. 20 or 70 degrees? Snow or rain or sun? We're still in the NBA and NHL Playoffs, plus we've got opening day in the Major Leagues. We've got the lion-lamb thing in March, rain in April, sometime snow in May??? Is the furnace on or off? Does the AC still work? It's 90 today! I can't breathe - the pollen count is 5 million! Easter and Memorial day? Did you give something up this year? When do we change the clocks??? Sheesh, it's tough to be spring. Very complicated stuff. But overall, we must wade through the mandates of season number two to get to the most anticipated season of all for many. Summer!


Summer. Summer's great.


Fall. There are actually 2 falls. There's the now fall, that everyone is all giddy about right now. You know, the high school football fall. Sweatshirts and shorts fall, nice day cool nights fall, beautiful colors fall. We all love that fall, and why not? It's great!


But then comes the "other" fall. The 70 in the morning, 20 at dinnertime fall. The first snow in November that no one was ready for fall. The where's the snow brush fall? Raking leaves till my arms fall off fall, not to mention the filthiest job known to man - cleaning the gutters fall. What kind of masochist likes that fall? But in this case, it probably balances out even-Steven!


Anyway, we are in the first fall now, and it is rather nice. So enjoy, because you know and I know what's next. That annoying guy two cubicles down saying, "Winter is my favorite time of the year!"


He's lying.