MOVIE REVIEW - No Strings Attached

He are clearly in the depths of slow movie season, and the new movie No Strings Attached is more proof positive of that fact.

NSA stars Natalie Portman, and Ashton Kutcher in that story of a young woman Emma (Portman) a medical student who is pressed for time. She meets Adam, (Kutcher) who is just this dude with a so-so job who has all the time on earth. The basic premise of this romantic comedy is, Emma just wants Adam to be her sex partner only. They together come to this agreement that he is to meet her any place, any time she wants to end up in bed with her. And the whole thing is there will be no strings attached. Emma is very emotionally non connected with the whole relationship thing. But can this kind of thing be sustained?

First off, this basic story is so uninteresting it's almost pathetic. But be that as it may, that's what we've got here. This is so predictable, you already know the end at the beginning. You care so little about these two especially in the first hour, you wish this thing would just limp to the finish so we can go get coffee. This ridiculous story does improve as it goes on, but can't shake off that damage that has been already done.

On another point, this movie is so incredibly immature. Line after line of locker room dialogue, from all characters. Written again by a generation that thinks that the more references to body parts is actually funny for us to watch. And I unerstand there is a sect out there that thinks that is really funny stuff. They ask Portman to do physical comedy at times, and let's hope we don't have to see that again. And Kutcher is the exact same dude in every movie. He is among the least versatile actors out there today. And this whole movie with Portman, after her stellar performance in a real movie, Black Swan is nothing short of career self sabotage. I know, check her bank account. But there is a credibility factor. I would like to think that some of these guys do care about how they will go down in history, but maybe not.

One thing more to observe. For a lot of this movie, most of our young characters are terribly drunk, smoking weed with their dads, trolling for anyone to have sex with, and are projecting an attitude that all of this is just the way it is. Keep in mind our characters are way more 30 than 20 in this flick. Sad state. This is the killer. You just don't really care about this bunch. And that is the key to a romantic comedy. You have to like, care for and be pulling for the principles to have an interesting outcome. Here, you just are hoping that they grow up to sophomoric.

No Strings Attached. If you must. Netflix in 90 days.