Turning Points

Everyone has a few turning points in their life. Some come early, some come later. One of mine came this week April 11, 1978 when my dad died and I was 16. Most years I take note of the date and move on. The date too is noted by close friends and family, and then the day resumes. This year is a little different.

I think it's hard for any of us to imagine that something of real significance happened to us three decades ago, but here I am. Over the years I have learned many valuable lessons as a result of his passing, but mostly I've learned that life really is a long journey. I know we're taught that "life is short" and all those cliche's and I guess there's some truth to that. But I guess I more subscribe more to the "there are no reruns" philosophy.

No question that when cancer took my dad at 53 that was too young. He led an interesting life. He was an All-Ohio High School athlete in football, basketball and track. He was drafted by the Boston Red Sox as a pitcher out of high school, and went to Duke University on a football scholarship. World War II changed everything.

He left Duke, enlisted in the Army Air Corps and was a tail-gunner in a B-25 bomber in the South Pacific for 3 years. He was in occupied Japan for a year or so after the war was over. He returned to the states, went to Ohio University and then ran the terminals for Roadway for many years both in Columbus and here in Akron. He worked for John Hanckock Insurance the last few years of his life.

Most of that was before I was born. I knew Bob as my dad. He was active in our family and our community. He still loved sports, and taught me how to play every game the right way, and for the right reason. As an adult, he was a good bowler and a scratch golfer. He also coached little league baseball for many years, and taught kid after kid how to pitch the correct way. Including me. He also taught me how to play golf, and how respect any game you choose to play.

But he gave me more than that. He gave me gifts that have benefited me more than sports. He taught me right from wrong. (I mean the real right from wrong.) He made me understand that we don't always win, and that losing isn't the end of the world it's just the end of the game. That time together is the greatest gift of all. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and take care of great friendships, they're worth it every time. Man was he right about that! Sharing, teamwork, and honesty. He also reminded me that younger people are watching and learning from you always. And that there was always something bigger to be learned from a seemingly small event.

After he died I didn't really know what to do and it took a long while to figure it out. Still am I'm guessing. Truth is, 30 years has been so long, I can't even imagine what my life would be like with him in it. That isn't meant as harsh, it's just reality. There's no question my life would be different. How could it not?

But it was the first turning point in my life. At 16 it was the first different thing that happened that was forever, and I won't lie, it was tough to deal with. But I learned that life goes on - way on. And there will be other turning points to come, and to deal with. As a result of my first one, I think I have been better able to handle some others as a result, and be ready for the turning points that certainly will be in my future.

I have always privately maintained that two of the best things that have ever happend to me were my dad living, and him giving me the life tools to use after his passing. Thanks dad. I do my best and try to use them every day. Even 30 years later! I do miss you.

RFW July 20, 1924 - April 11, 1978.